I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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