the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
