doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
