he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
