Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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