Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
