I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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