He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I forget how to act sober
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
