in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
