omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
