You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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