No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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