get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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