I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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