Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
