Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
