therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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