and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
