I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
