whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
