It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
