I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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