did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
