I could have mohawked her pubes.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
