I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
