The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
