You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
