Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
