dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will be naked everywhere
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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