i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
