Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
