sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
