I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
