Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
