Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
