I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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