and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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