I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
