Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
