And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I just sharted jello shots
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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