dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
