everyone is single if you try hard enough
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
