I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
