Pappa wants mamma naked
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
