She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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