Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
