Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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