you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
