can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
