nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
