you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
