chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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