Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
