You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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